Best of Intentions
by Angel N Darkness
Summary: Strauss and Rossi have a past and Rossi loves to torment Strauss. Will they ever get past the hurt? Will Dave ever realize what he did to Strauss? Will Strauss ever tell Dave of all she lost the night he broke her heart?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So I have this story idea in my head and it just won't leave… LOL… So here is something totally different than I have ever written before… I have never wrote this pairing and if I have then I have never wrote them in the way I am going to write them in this story… Enjoy! The song in this chapter is a dare from Katie! I'm going to try using cuteass's writing style for this first chapter so let's see how it goes! LMAO!

_**Calling all CM readers and authors! Join us for our first Profiler's Choice CM Awards on ! Help us choose the best of the best of the CM stories on , and let your voice be heard. Anyone with a account is eligible to nominate. Please check out the nominating ballot and rules at Chit Chat on Author's Forum at .net/topic/74868/30888142/1/. All rules and information are on the forum.**_

Disclaimer: I don't own CM or the song!

Prompt: Girl You Left Me For – Deana Carter

Twenty years ago today had been the day that Erin Strauss's world had came crashing down around her. She sat staring at the calendar on her desk and she wanted to just run and hide. She was not sure she could handle having to see David Rossi today. It was because of him that her world had came crashing down all those years ago.

She closed her eyes on a wave of pain she fought to keep the memories at bay. She did not want to remember right now. She knew that when she went home tonight she would remember every words that was said, every word that was left unsaid and every look that was shared good and bad that day.

She opened her eyes back up when there was a knock on her office door. She knew exactly who it was by the way the person knocked. It was the last person she wanted to see that day. Hell if she were honest it was the last person she ever wanted to see. Unfortunately though she ended up seeing him every day and every single time she had to put on an act but thankfully he bought it. She was just thankful he never knew her long held secret and if she had anything to say about it he would never know.

Before she could say anything to the person knocking on her office door it was thrown open and in walked her personal tormentor with a smirk on his face. "So Erin today has been twenty years. Are you as happy about that as I am?"

Erin swallowed the lump that lodged itself in her throat and glared at Dave. "What can I do for you Dave? If you just came by to torment me then you can do that later. I know for a fact that you guys have a case so should you not be in the conference room? Plus if you really are wanting to torment me today Dave then you need to go and get the girl you left me for. Oh wait you cannot get her because she left you not even a week later."

Dave glared at Erin as she rubbed that into his face yet again. He wanted so much to say something but he knew that she was right. His tormenting of her will have to wait until later. He just wanted her to know that he was thinking about what had happened twenty years ago today between the two of them. He frowned when he saw the pain in Erin's eyes but then he thought his eyes were playing a trick on him because when he looked closer her eyes just held all the coldness and hatred that she felt towards him.

"We will finish this later Erin. You have yourself a nice day now." Dave said.

Erin watched Dave turn around and walk towards her office door but before he could exit her office she said in a hard tone "No, Dave we will not finish this later. As far as I am concerned we are finished. You are the one who loves to hurt me. You are the one who does nothing but torment me. Well I have had it up to my head Dave and I will not let you do it anymore. You need to leave me the hell alone or I will make your life hell just like you have made my life a living hell for twenty years now. You have yourself a nice day Dave."

As she was talking to him she walked towards him and then pushed him out of her office. Before he could say anything to her she slammed the door in his face and then locked it. She barely made it back to her chair before her legs gave out and she felt the tears flood her eyes before running down her face. She could no longer stop the memories from flooding her head and soon she was back to the night that her world went up in flames literally and figuratively.

_She was waiting on Dave to get to her house because she had some news that she had to share with him. Today was their one year anniversary and she still could not believe it. She could not believe that they had been together for a year and have been working together for five years now. She was happy about the news that she had to share with Dave and she could only hope and pray that he would be happy too._

_When she heard his car pull up she rushed to the front door and opened it because she could not wait for him to knock. She got the shock of her life when she saw him kiss a woman in the passenger seat of his car before actually walking up to her front door. She could not believe that he had brought another woman to her house especially tonight of all nights. She could not believe that he was cheating on her. _

"_What is going on Dave?" Erin asked._

_Dave looked at Erin and saw that she was still as beautiful as ever but instead of telling her he said "Erin, I need to tell you that I have been seeing and sleeping with Marie for the last three months. When you started to withdraw from me I turned to someone else."_

_Erin's mouth dropped open as she looked at Dave in shock. "You have got to be kidding me! What the fuck Dave? I thought you loved me! Or is that something you say to all the women you get into bed with you. I cannot believe you! How could you do this to me? How could you do this to us? How could you do this tonight of all nights? Do you even know what tonight is Dave? DO YOU?"_

_Dave raised an eyebrow at Erin and said "What is today Erin? Why is today so important?"_

_Erin raised her hand and slapped Dave across his face hard. "Today is our one year anniversary. I guess I should have known that everything out of your fucking mouth was a lie. GET THE FUCK OUT DAVE! I HATE YOU!"_

_Dave's mouth dropped open a little in shock but then he snapped it closed and he glared at Erin and snarled "You mean to tell me that I decided to come clean to you on our year anniversary? I am so proud of myself. I hope that you enjoy the rest of the night then Erin. You are nothing but a cold fish in the bedroom and I found someone who knows how to satisfy me in the bed. Ask yourself this question Erin. WHY WOULD I WANT A COLD BITCH LIKE YOU WHEN I CAN HAVE ANY HOT AND VIBRANT WOMAN THAT I WANT?"_

_Erin's breath caught in her chest at Dave's words and she felt like a thousand knives were stabbing her but she managed to keep the calm appearance on her outside as she said "Just leave Dave. Get out and stay the hell away from me!"_

_She watched Dave walk out of her front door and out of her life and as soon as the front door shut she broke. She started crying and could not quit. She lost all track of time until she cried herself to sleep. Unfortunately when she cried herself to sleep she was woken up by the fire alarms screaming and a fire not only in the kitchen but in the living room where she was at. She lost consciousness again before she could even get outside her house._

_The next time she woke up she was in a hospital room and she had been told that she lost her baby. She knew that nobody even knew she was in the hospital and she made the Doctor swear not to tell anyone. Not only had she lost the man she loved, she lost their baby and her home all in one night._

She came out of her thoughts when her cell phone chirped. She looked down and sighed as she saw who it was from. She deleted the text message without even reading it. She could not and would not let him make her hurt any worse today than she already was.

A/N 2: So this was a hard chapter to write since I didn't use contractions in the chapter… I can honestly say I have no clue how cuteass does it… lmao… I had a hard time doing it and had to keep hitting the backspace to go back and retype some things… So click the pretty button and let me know what you think of this first chapter…


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So now we are into the 2nd chapter of this story… LOL… I hope you all liked the first chapter…

Disclaimer: I don't own CM or the song….

Prompt: Walmart Parking Lot – Chris Cagle

Erin pulled into the Walmart Parking lot and shut her car off. She couldn't believe that she had made it this far before breaking down once more. She slammed her hand into her steering wheel as she felt the pain overtake her. She couldn't fight the pain anymore and she knew that if she tried that the breakdown would just be ten times worse than it was right now. She wanted to scream and shout but she knew that if she did that it wouldn't change anything.

She heard her cell phone go off and she pulled it out of her purse to look at it and then she opened it and said "What the hell do you want Rossi?"

Dave's mouth dropped open as he heard want Erin said when she answered the phone. "I told you that we would finish this discussion later Erin. Now where are you so we can finish this talk?"

Erin swallowed the sob that was threatening to escape. "I have nothing to say to you Rossi. Now if this is not work related I'm hanging up. Haven't you wrecked my life enough or do you want to wreck it some more?"

Dave scowled at that. "How did I wreck your life Erin? Tell me that!"

Without thinking Erin snapped and said "How did you wreck my life David? I'll fucking tell you how you wrecked my God damn life. The night you fucking told me I was nothing to you my house burnt to the fucking ground and I lost my fucking baby because of you. NOW LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!"

Dave gasped and said "What in the hell are you talking about?"

Erin gasped as she realized what she said and she groaned. "Nothing Dave. I'm talking about nothing. Now if you excuse me I need to go."

With that Erin hung her cell phone up and turned it off for the first time in a long time. She knew that she couldn't go home because she knew Dave and knew that he would check there. She checked how much cash she had on her and decided to go to a hotel. She knew that she couldn't use her real name but she knew of a place that she could go to with an alias and after wiping her eyes she did just that.

-BOI-

Dave pulled his cell phone away from his ear and looked at it in shock. He couldn't believe that Erin had hung up on him. He dialed her number again and then swore when it went straight to her voicemail. He wanted to know what she meant about him wrecking her life and about her house burning to the ground and her losing her baby.

His chest started hurting as he realized that if she had been pregnant and lost the baby that the baby would have been his as well. His eyes widened as he thought about everything that led up to the moment of him saying and doing the things he did. As he thought about it he realized that Erin very well could have been pregnant. He just couldn't figure out why she hadn't told him. He couldn't understand why she hadn't said anything afterwards to him even when he returned home from a case. 

That was when he remembered that the first day he had arrived back she hadn't been at work and hadn't come back to work for a couple weeks. By the time she returned he remembered that she had froze him out. Anytime he talked to her she was as cold as ice towards him not that he could really blame her. He had just put it down to him doing what he did to her but now he wondered if maybe there was more to it than that. With that thought in mind he got up from his desk and went to find Penelope and have her look into what he had just learned. He knew that if anybody could find out what had happened to Erin if anything on this day twenty years ago today that it would be Penelope.

He took in a deep breath and then entered Penelope's dungeon and said "Garcia, I need you to look something up for me please?"

Penelope turned towards Dave and said "What can I look up for you my legendary profiler?"

Dave smiled a little at Penelope's nickname for him and said "I need you to look up something about Erin Strauss. I need this to stay between you and me though. Look up and see if you can find anything about a hospital stay or a fire twenty years ago exactly today. I'll be in my office for a little while yet so as soon as you have the information please bring it to me. It's very important that I find out this information today."

Penelope's mouth had dropped open in shock a little ways but she nodded. "Then you shall have it within the next hour. I'll bring it straight to you when I get it and then make sure I delete all traces of the search."

Dave smiled a little at Penelope and said "Thank you Penelope. I'll let you know why I need it later. I'll be in my office."

Penelope nodded and set to work even before Dave left her dungeon. Within thirty minutes she had all the relevant information that Dave had requested and she was pale as she read over it. She couldn't help but wonder why her legendary profiler needed to know but she also knew that for some reason this information was going to rock Dave's world and not in a good way.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, favorites and story alerts for this story… I'm glad that you guys are liking the story… This chapter is short but I wanted you all to know what Penelope found… Next chapter will have Dave reading over the information and learning more…

Disclaimer: I don't own CM or the song!

Prompt: I See It Now – Tracy Lawrence

Penelope knocked on Dave's office door once before walking in. She had everything that he had asked for. As she neared his desk she took in a deep breath and let it out. She wasn't sure how he was going to take the information that she had gotten for him. She could already see just by the look in his eyes that he wasn't going to take what she had to say or what she had found in a good way at all. She was actually afraid that what she had to say to him or even what she had to give to him would send him over the edge.

"Rossi, Sir I have the information that you requested I get for you." Penelope said.

Dave looked up at Penelope and said "What all did you find?"

Penelope took in a deep breath and said "There was a fire twenty years ago that destroyed Erin Strauss's house. She was in it at the time and barely managed to get out alive. It took a lot of digging but I was able to get her hospital records. She was badly injured in the fire and she was indeed pregnant but lost the baby."

Dave gasped and he said "Just leave the information for me on my desk. Thank you Penelope."

Penelope nodded and cast a worried look at Dave. "It was no problem Sir. I'll be in my bunker if you need me for anything else."

Dave nodded and closed his eyes on a sigh. He couldn't believe that he had been the reason that Erin had lost everything. He couldn't believe that everything he thought had been a lie. He couldn't believe that not only had he destroyed Erin's life but he had also destroyed his child's life. He wasn't sure if he could come back from something like that. The one thought that was clearly running through his head was I see it now and he could.

Penelope looked once more at Dave and then walked out of his office. She didn't want to be around him when everything she said and everything he read finally sunk into him. She had no doubt that he would break down and she didn't want to be the one to see that happen.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I know it's been like a month and a half since I've updated this story but my muse got on a kick with some other stories... But here is another update... This chapter is short but the next chapter is already planned out and mostly wrote out so if I can get at least 8 reviews for this chapter I'll post the next chapter tomorrow or Sunday...

Disclaimer: I don't own CM...

Prompt: Life Goes On – LeAnn Rimes

After getting a hotel room under an assumed name that even David Rossi didn't know she had Erin collapsed onto the bed in tears. She couldn't believe that today was the twenty year anniversary of not only her losing her house but of her losing her baby. She couldn't stop the tears from falling down her face so she just let them them. She turned over onto her side and curled up into the fetal position and sobbed her heart out. She was tired of trying to keep the tears at bay and plus she knew that if she kept fighting them that when she finally lost the battle with her tears that it would just be ten times worse. It always was every single year.

When she was finally cried out she sat up on the bed and thought about what her life had become. She had married a guy six years after the fiasco with Dave but she never was truly in love with the man. She didn't trust any man with her heart because of what Dave did to her. As her thoughts turned to Dave she scowled and got up off the bed and stripped out of her clothes and headed to the shower.

As she let the hot water run over her she couldn't help but think that even when someone was broken even after twenty years that life goes on without stopping. She felt the tears prick her eyes again and once more she cried but this time her tears blended in with the water from the shower. She knew that she was going to have to face Dave come tomorrow and she didn't think she was going to be able to handle it because he had ripped open every single scab that had healed over the wounds he inflicted on her twenty years ago.

After drying off and putting on the sweats and shirt she bought at Walmart she climbed into the bed and covered up. As she laid on her side she decided that she would call in tomorrow. She hasn't taken a vacation or a sick day in years so she knew that the Director wouldn't mind her not going in. She needed time to get her head on straight so that when Dave cornered her she'd be able to fight back like she has for the last twenty years. She had to make sure that she wouldn't break down in front of him because she never wanted him to know that he still had the power to hurt her after all these years.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews for the previous chapter... I'm sorry its been a while since I've updated but my muse has had other ideas... LOL... Anyways I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and that you all have a Happy New Years... Now onto the story... Enjoy...

Disclaimer: I don't own CM... * groans * I do own my muse! * glares at my muse * Stop laughing at me!

Prompt: Every Breath You Take – Police

Dave was looking out of his office window but he wasn't really seeing anything. His mind was to full of everything that he had learned last night. He lifted his arm up and looked at the watch on his wrist and frowned when he saw that it was almost eleven in the morning. He wondered where Erin was because he knew that she hadn't come in to work yet. He had Penelope keeping an eye on the cameras at the entrance of the building and parking garages and she had yet to call and let him know that Erin was finally in.

He sighed and picked up the phone on his desk and called Rose and waited impatiently for her to answer and once she did he said "Rose it's Agent David Rossi. Is Erin in or do you know if she is coming in today?"

Rose sighed and said "No Agent Rossi Ms. Strauss isn't coming in today. She called and said she wouldn't be back in for a couple days that she had some things to do. Would you like to leave a message and when she checks back in with me I could give it to her?"

Dave groaned and closed his eyes. He didn't once think that Erin wouldn't bother coming to work. That in itself was very telling on just how bad he had gotten to her yesterday. If he could beat the hell out of himself he would gladly do so as he realized just how much damage he has done. "No Rose that's okay. I'll try to call her myself. If she calls back before I get a hold of her please don't tell her that I called."

Rose lifted an eyebrow at that even though Dave couldn't see it and said "I promise I won't tell her Agent Rossi. If I do hear from her I'll let you know."

"Thank you Rose. Have a nice day." Dave said and then hung his phone up. He sat back in his chair and swore. He couldn't believe how stupid he had been. He should have known from her tone last night that she was close to the edge but he didn't even think anything of it. He should have known that she wouldn't come to work today because of everything he had said and done yesterday. Now he just hoped that he could get a hold of her some way some how. He needed to know that she was okay even if she didn't want to talk to him or say anything to him. He just needed to know that she wasn't planning on doing anything stupid.

He picked his cell phone up off of his desk and dialed Erin's cell phone number. He knew that she probably wouldn't answer it but he had to try. If he didn't try or find a way to find her he was going to lose his mind with worry. He knew that if he got her voicemail that he would leave a message. When he did indeed get the voicemail box he waited for the beep and took in a deep breath and let it out and then sighed as the beep sounded. "Erin it's Dave. I know that I'm probably the last person you want to talk to right now. No scratch that I know that I am definitely the last person you want to talk to right now and I don't blame you at all. Will you please at least shoot me a text so that I know that you're okay. I'm worried about you Erin. Did you know that with every breath you take a heart can break? My heart is breaking with every breath that I take because of what I have found out. God Erin I'm sorry. I'm so damn sorry. Please just let me know that you're okay."

He ended the call and sighed and put his head on his desk. He had no doubt that Erin wouldn't call him back but he hoped that she would at least text him and let him know that she was still alive. He couldn't remember a time in his life when he had screwed up as royally as he did yesterday and twenty years ago. Well yeah actually he could. He screwed up royally the same day every year and he had for the past twenty years. He just hoped that Erin would make it through today and however long until she came back to work and he could corner her. He knew that nothing he would say or do would make up for what he has done but he had to do something. He couldn't live with the guilt that he was feeling. He had to make Erin understand why he did what he did twenty years ago. He had to make Erin understand why he did what he did once a year every year. He just hoped that he would have the chance to.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews for the previous chapter... Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own CM!

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

Prompt: Dirty Little Secret – Kelly Clarkson

Erin took in a deep breath and then let it out. Today was her first day back at work since her confrontation with Dave exactly a week ago. For the last seven days she had been at a hotel trying to work through her pain but unfortunately she couldn't. The pain she felt from what Dave did twenty years ago and from losing her baby and her house were still as great today as it had been twenty years ago. She isn't sure that she'll ever get over it. She's not sure that she ever wants to get over it because if she got over it then she would eventually forgive Dave and that is the last thing she wanted.

She stepped out of her car and walked towards the elevators. She could only hope and pray that she didn't run into Dave today. Although she knew with the way her luck ran when it came to Dave that more than likely she would end up running into him. She could only hope that she had her defenses up enough that whatever he had to say to her wouldn't cause her much damage. She was thankful that she had the elevator to herself on the ride up to the floor she needed. When the doors opened onto her floor she quickly walked out of the elevator and down the hall to her office. She was thankful that she came in early today as she passed by the empty desk that belonged to her assistant. She quickly unlocked her office door and walked into her office and then shut the door and locked it. She needed as much alone time as she could get right now because she knew that within the next couple of hours Dave would be in her office demanding an explanation to what she had said to him.

She got ready to sit down in her chair behind her desk when there was a knock on her door. She groaned but walked to her office door and opened it up. She silently cursed herself in her head when she saw that it was none other than the man that she didn't want to see or deal with. "What in the hell do you want Dave?"

Dave took in Erin's appearance with his eyes and mentally swore himself to death. He could tell that she had lost weight in the last seven days and he blamed himself. He could also tell that she hadn't slept much in the last seven days due to the bags under her eyes. If it would have done any good he would have slammed his fist into a wall or hell he would have even slammed his head into a wall but he knew that it wouldn't do any good. "I'm here so that we can talk Erin. You've ignored me for the past seven days. I think you owe me an explanation."

Erin laughed bitterly. "I don't owe you a damn thing David Rossi. Now why don't you tell me why in the hell you're in my office so damn early so I can get back to work. As you pointed out I've been gone for seven days so I need to catch up plus I have an appointment this afternoon that I can't miss. Now what can I do for you Dave?"

Dave cringed at the hostility in Erin's voice. He knew that she had every reason in the world to hate him but it didn't mean that he had to like it. "I think we need to talk about what happened twenty years ago Erin. Why didn't you tell me when you finally came back to work after a long time off what happened?"

Erin shook her head and glared at Dave. "Do you want to know why I didn't tell you anything David? I didn't tell you anything because it was none of your fucking business. You not only broke my heart twenty fucking years ago you caused me to lose my home and my child! Who in the hell do you think you fucking are Rossi? You do nothing but use and break people and then when something happens that you think you should have known about but didn't you demand answers. Well let me tell you something David mother fucking Rossi it all isn't about you anymore!"

Dave paled at Erin's eyes and a wave of pain hit him so hard he closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them back up he looked at Erin. "I would have helped you had I known. Damn it Erin that baby wasn't only yours it was mine too!"

Erin laughed bitterly again while she took a step towards Dave and then slapped him hard across the face. "You lost any fucking right you had to the baby I was carrying when you caused me to lose it David! If it wouldn't have been for you and the slut you brought to my house I wouldn't have fallen asleep crying with candles still burning around the house or with the oven and stove still on. If it wasn't for you and that fucking slut I would still have my house and my son or daughter. My God David why can't you just leave me alone? Why can't you just let the past go. I've had to deal with you for the last twenty fucking years with the way you have been and I can't keep doing this. I'm at my fucking breaking point! Although I shouldn't be surprised because that has been what you've been aiming for, for the last fucking twenty years. Now that you have done it you should be proud of yourself!"

The full force of Erin's words hit Dave like a semi truck and he looked at her and shouted "Calm down Erin! Jesus Christ woman do you want everyone knowing our fucking business?"

Erin started punching Dave on his chest as she yelled "WHAT'S THE MATTER ROSSI YOU DON'T WANT EVERYONE KNOWING YOUR DIRTY LITTLE SECRET? WELL TO FUCKING BAD YOU MOTHER FUCKING BASTARD! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! YOU DESTROYED MY LIFE TWENTY YEARS AGO I THINK IT'S ONLY FUCKING FAIR THAT I GET TO DESTROY YOUR FUCKING LIFE FOR A MOTHER FUCKING CHANGE!"

Dave sucked in a breath as he realized just how much hurt and pain he caused Erin. He just stood there letting her hit him because he knew that right now nothing he said to her would get through to her. He knew that if he even tried to move right now that she would break and he didn't want to be the one to cause her to break again. So he stood there until she fell against his chest sobbing and then he did the only thing he could do right then which was wrap his arms around her and hold her while she cried about the child he had cost her to lose. He felt tears rush to his eyes and he didn't bother trying to stop them from falling from his eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews to the previous chapter... This chapter will be short... The next chapter is longer again as is the couple after it... I decided I wanted to show what Dave was feeling after Erin's outburst...

Disclaimer: I don't own CM...

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

Prompt: Feel – Robbie Williams

Dave could feel when Erin had finally cried herself all out because she collapsed against him. He swore loudly as he lifted her up into his arms and walked over to the couch in her office and laid her down on it. He stepped back a little and let his eyes rake her still form. He swore again when he realized that she had lost weight. His eyes took in her face and he saw the bags under her eyes and knew then that she hadn't been sleeping.

He walked back over towards her desk and grabbed one of the chairs and pulled it over by the couch. He sat down and just stared at Erin. He couldn't believe that she had lost it like she had then again he shouldn't have been surprised. He knew that she had, had twenty years to build up anger towards him for what he had cost her.

As he sat there watching her he cursed himself in both English and Italian in his head. He knew that she had every right to say everything that she had earlier. He hadn't realized until then just how badly he had hurt her and not just because he had caused her to lose their baby. He hadn't known just how much Erin had loved him until he felt it all the way to his soul while she yelled and ranted at him. He rubbed a hand over his head and wonder if he could feel any worse than he did at that moment.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Wow it's been a while since I've updated this story and I'm sorry about that... My muse ran away on a couple different stories and then when I could get to this story real life happened... So here we are with the next chapter! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own CM or the song!

Prompt: My Last Breath – Evanescence

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

Dave wasn't sure how long he sat in Erin's office and watched her sleep. He just knew that anytime he took his eyes off of her they were right back on her. It was as if an unseen force was holding his eyes upon her not that he minded because he didn't. As he watched her sleep he really got to look at her.

He sighed as he took in all the changes that he has missed taking place over the last twenty years. He could tell that she had lost a lot of weight and he blamed himself for that. As he looked at her he felt his heart constrict. He knew that he had nobody but himself to blame for anything and everything that Erin chose to dish out to him once she was awake and back on her feet again.

He knew now what he had cost himself all those years ago and it was killing him. He couldn't believe that he had never known that she had been pregnant or that he had cost her to lose their child. He couldn't believe that he never guessed why she had been gone for several weeks after he ripped her heart out and stomped on it. Most of all he couldn't believe that he hadn't known that her house had burnt down to the ground.

He shuddered as he thought about her house being on fire. It was then that he realized he could have lost her for good. He felt his heart slow and then start beating faster. He wasn't sure how he would have reacted if he would have lost Erin for good twenty years ago. He closed his eyes on a sigh and sent up a silent prayer thanking God for not taking Erin from this world.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

Erin blinked her eyes and then slowly opened them. When she realized that she way laying on the couch in her office she was confused until she turned her head and spotted Dave. It was then that everything came flooding back to her mind. She was actually shocked that Dave was still in her office with her.

She stayed laying down on the couch but her eyes took in Dave. She noticed that his eyes were closed and as she looked at his face she saw that it looked as if he was in pain. Her breath caught in her chest as she realized that and she couldn't stop herself from sitting up and then getting up and making her way over to where he sat in the chair. She knelt down in front of him and then without realizing what she was doing she lifted a hand and put it on his cheek. "Dave what's wrong?"

Dave opened his eyes and his mouth dropped in shock slightly when he saw Erin kneeling in front of him. He lifted his hand up and covered her hand that was on his cheek and gave her a tender smile. "Nothing is wrong Erin. I was just thinking."

Erin smiled slightly but shook her head. "Don't lie to me Dave. You looked like you were in pain. What is wrong Dave?"

Dave sighed and then took the hand that was on Erin's hand on his face off and put it on Erin's cheek. "I just realized that I could have completely lost you all those years ago. I was an idiot Erin and because of me being an idiot I made you lose our baby and you almost lost your life. I now can fully understand why you hate me. I don't blame you one bit and if you never want to see or talk to me again I'll leave you alone. I've caused you enough pain Erin."

Erin's heart caught in her chest as she realized just what Dave was talking about. She gave him a slight smile and shook her head. "Dave I'll be the first one to admit that for the longest time I hated you. Hell after all you cost me everything I held dear and you broke my heart. Since then I've been married and divorced three times and none of those men I married or the ones I've dated in between have made me feel about them the way I felt about you. I think I need to get past this. I need to be able to look at you and not want to scream and shout and the only way I am going to be able to do that is for us to spend time together. I think we need to get to know one another again Dave. I'm not going to say it's going to be easy on me because God knows it isn't. However if you can promise me that you won't intentionally hurt again I'd like to get to know the new you Dave."

Dave felt his heart stop and then start again as he saw the truth shining in Erin's eyes. He took in a deep breath and let it out even as he sat forward and pressed his forehead against Erin's. "I swear to you Erin I will never intentionally hurt you. If I do hurt you intentionally I would give you my last breath. I would rather die than hurt you like that ever again. I want to spend time with you Erin. I want to get to know you all over again. I want us to talk about what happened all those years ago. I need to make amends for what I've done to you. Will you give me the chance to make it up to you Erin?"

Erin saw all the pain that Dave was feeling in his eyes and she knew that she had to give him that chance. She knew that she had had twenty years to come to terms with the fact that she lost their baby and she knew that he was going to need time to come to terms with it. No matter how much she wanted to hate him she just couldn't. She gave him a nod and a sad smile. "I'll give you the chance Dave. But for now I think we should both get to work."

Dave looked at Erin long and hard before finally nodding. "I'll go to work but if you even start to feel sick I want you to call me Erin. You have had a rough couple days and I know that I'm to blame for it."

Erin sighed but gave a slight smile. "If I start to feel sick I'll let you know Dave. Now go."

Dave stood up and then helped Erin up off of the floor and pulled her into his arms. He bent his head and gave her a kiss and then walked out of her office with a smile on his face as he heard her gasp in surprise. As soon as he was out of her office he chuckled slightly because he was still able to surprise her after all.

* * *

A/N 2: *clears throat* Well now I finally got it done after working on it off and on for the last couple of weeks... Anytime I started on it I would give a quarter of the way done and then Phoenix was off and running in a direction I didn't want this chapter to go... *snorts* But I finally tied her up and was able to get this chapter the way I wanted it too... So click the button and let me know what you think! Enjoy!


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Yes I know that it has been a very long time since I have updated this story and for that I am sorry... On the plus side I am updating it now... LOL... I also made it a little longer than I normally do... I hope you all like this chapter...

Disclaimer: I don't own CM

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

Erin couldn't believe that Dave had just kissed her but she shook her head to clear it and went back to her desk and sat down. She sighed as she looked at all the messages that were on her desk. She knew that she was going to spend most of the day dealing with everything that had happened in her absence. She took in several deep breaths and let them out and then got started on the messages that were on her desk.

Four and a half hours she was still at it. She looked up when she heard a knock on her officer door. "Come in."

Rose opened the door and walked in and smiled at her boss. "I am going to lunch, Miss Strauss. Is there anything I can do for you before I go? Can I bring you back some lunch?"

Erin sighed but forced a smile onto her face. "I'm not really hungry but thank you for asking, Rose. When you come back if you would pick me up a vanilla cappuccino I would appreciate it very much. Other than that there isn't anything I need. You go and have a nice lunch."

Rose nodded and said "I will, Miss Strauss. I'll have my cell phone on me so if you change your mind before my lunch hour is up please don't hesitate to call me and have me pick you something to eat up. No offense, Miss Strauss, but you don't look to well and you look like you could do with a good meal or two."

Erin chuckled and shook her head. "I'm alright, Rose. I just had a bad week this past week and now I am trying to catch up on everything that I have missed. If I do decide I want something to eat before you are due back I promise you that I will call to let you know. For now I just want to get through these last five messages and then I am going to a short break and stretch my legs."

Rose grinned at that. "Good to know, Miss Strauss. You don't need to be working yourself to death before the end of the day. I will see you in an hour then, Miss Strauss."

Erin nodded and waited until Rose walked out and closed her office door again. She sat back with a sigh and rubbed a hand down her face. She was tired, had a migraine, and her side was hurting but she was ignoring all of that in order to get through all the messages on her desk. She let out another sigh and then sat forward again to finish off the messages on her desk yet that she still had to go through. Luckily she only had five messages left out of the ninety that was on her desk when she first walked into her office this morning. Thirty minutes later she was finally finished and she sat back in her chair again. She couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief that she had finally finished all of the messages and dealt with the stuff that she hadn't been there to deal with in the past week.

She pushed her chair back and stood up and let out another sigh of relief. She could feel some of her muscles relax as she stretched and it caused her to let out a breath she hadn't even realized that she had been holding. She went to walk around her but stumbled when a sharp pain went through her head and her side. Before she could regain her balance from the first sharp pain another sharp pain went through her head and side and caused her to stumble again. She cried out when she felt herself falling but then she knew nothing more after her head hit the corner of her desk and everything went black.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

As Dave made his way into the BAU he couldn't help but feel as if a weight had been lifted some what off of his shoulders. He knew that he still had a lot to make up to Erin but he was relieved that she was even thinking of letting him make amends. He just wanted to finally clear the air between them and see if they could work their way past everything that had happened twenty years ago and in the years after he did what he did to her. He made his way up to his office and sat down in his chair. He just wanted to get through today so that he could go back and see Erin and talk to her some more. He needed to make sure that she was okay.

He looked up when he heard a knock on his door and when he saw Aaron standing there he motioned him in. "Come on in, Aaron. What can I do for you?"

Aaron shook his head as he sat down. "I figured I would come over and see how you were doing. For the last week or so you haven't seemed like yourself. Is everything alright, Dave?"

Dave sighed and shook his head. "I got some news last week that I never knew and it threw me for a loop. In all honesty, Aaron, I wasn't sure how to deal with what I learned. I think I finally figured out how to handle everything so I should be okay now."

Aaron nodded and looked Dave in the eyes as he said "Would what you found out have anything to do with Erin Strauss and what happened twenty years ago, Dave?"

Dave's eyes widened in shock as he stared at Aaron. "How do you know about that, Aaron?"

Aaron sighed. "Jason Gideon helped Erin out whenever he could. He was drunk one night and told me all about it. I wanted to tell you many times but I actually figured that you knew and if you did know I didn't want to bring up bad memories for you. Gideon was there to help Erin as much as he could but he said it tore at his heart because of how much she was hurting. I guess it took him a while to get through to her that suicide wasn't the answer and even after he got that through her head he had people keeping a close eye on her to make sure that she didn't backslide into those same thoughts."

Dave swore and rubbed a hand down his face. "Damn it I have more to answer for than I previously thought. I'll talk to Erin again at the end of the day. What are we doing today?"

Aaron smiled at that. "We are just going through cases and writing out what we think and sending the reports to the Leo's. We don't have any pressing cases really right now so we are in the office all day. Besides that we are not back on rotation til tomorrow because of the last case we had."

Dave nodded and then waited until Aaron left his office before he leaned forward and placed his head on his desk as tears leaked out of his eyes. He couldn't believe that the woman he had loved would have even thought to take her own life. That hit him even harder than knowing that he caused her to lose their child. He promised himself then and there that he would make everything up to her someway and somehow. He wouldn't ever let her feel like that again.

He pulled some of the files that were on his desk toward him and got started on reading them so that he could give a profile and fax it to the police department that requested a profile. He worked the next several hours even though his mind kept drifting to Erin as he worked. He wasn't sure how much time had passed before he stopped working when the phone on his desk rang. "Rossi."

He heard a gasp and then he heard Rose say "Agent Rossi, I need you to come to Miss Strauss' office. I have already called for an ambulance."

Dave frowned and snapped "What is wrong, Rose? Why did you call an ambulance?"

Rose swallowed. "I just came back from lunch with Miss Strauss' cappuccino and brought it into her office. I found her on the floor and unconscious. She is not responding to me at all, Agent Rossi. She has a big bump on her head and it is bleeding. It looks like she hit it on the desk when she fell."

Dave swore. "I'm on my way, Rose. Keep trying to get her to respond." He didn't wait for Rose to respond to him before he hung his phone and jumped out of his chair. He quickly walked out of his office and went next door to Aaron's. After he knocked once he opened it up and stuck his head in. "Aaron, I have to go up to Erin's office. Her personal assistant just called me and told me she called an ambulance for Erin. She came back from lunch to find Erin on the floor with her head bleeding."

Aaron's mouth dropped open and then he jumped out of his seat and made his way to Dave. "Let's go, Dave."

Dave didn't bother trying to talk Aaron out of coming with him instead he nodded and led the way down the stairs and quickly through the bullpen of the BAU and out the door. He bypassed the elevator and took the stairs and ran up them with Aaron hot on his heels. He exited on Erin's floor and ran to her office and in it with Aaron right behind him. When he got through Rose's office and into Erin's he couldn't stop a gasp from escaping when he saw Erin. He ran over to her dropped down on his knees beside her as he quickly felt for a pulse. He let out a sigh of relief when he felt one. "She's alive still. Rose, call and see where in the hell that ambulance is at."

Aaron didn't wait for Rose to say anything before he gently helped her up and away from Erin before he dropped down to his knees beside Dave. He frowned when he saw the blood flowing freely from the cut on the side of Erin's head. He pulled out a handkerchief and pressed it to the cut to try to slow the bleeding as he looked at Dave. "See if you can get her to respond to your voice, Dave. We have no way of knowing how long she has been unconscious."

Dave nodded and gently smoothed hair out of Erin's face. "Erin, Sweetheart, it's Dave. I need for you to open up your eyes, Honey." He waited for thirty seconds before he repeated what he said. He swore when even after repeating it five times she still didn't respond. "Damn it where is that fucking ambulance?"

Rose gasped but said "They are on their way up here now with security, Agent Rossi."

Dave nodded curtly but kept his eyes on Erin. "Damn it, Erin, you need to wake up. I need to see those beautiful eyes of yours. This is not how our story ends! DO YOU HEAR ME? THIS IS NOT HOW OUR STORY ENDS!"

Aaron put a hand on Dave's shoulder and squeezed it. "Calm down, Dave. You are not going to do Strauss any good getting worked up like this. You can ride with her in the ambulance and I will follow after I let the team know where you and I will be at. You have to keep your head and be strong for her, Dave. Can you do that?"

Dave took in a deep breath and let it out. "I can and I will do it. Thank you, Aaron."

Aaron shook his head and then stood up and pulled Dave up and away as the EMT's came in. "Let the EMT's look at her, Dave. We'll stay right here."

Dave sighed but stayed put as he watched the EMT's check Erin over. He frowned when he saw the looks on their faces. "What is it? What's wrong?"

One of the EMT's sighed and looked up at Dave and said "We need to get her into the ambulance and to the hospital. From the way it feels her appendix has ruptured and that isn't good. If we want her to live we need to get her to the hospital right away and into surgery."

Dave paled but nodded. "Do it. I'm riding along with you."

The EMT nodded and him and his partner quickly got Erin loaded onto the gurney and then led the way out of Erin's office and to the elevator. Once in the elevator they pushed the button for the main floor and once it opened they got out and quickly made their way to the ambulance with Dave following them. Once they had her loaded into the ambulance they let Dave climb in with her before one of the EMT's closed the doors and ran around and jumped into the drivers seat and pealed out of the parking spot they were in and raced to the hospital with the lights and sirens blaring.

Dave leaned down and whispered into Erin's ear "You have to get through this, Baby. I have so much to make up to you but I can't do it if you're not alright. I'm so sorry for everything, Erin, and I will do everything in my power to make you see and understand that. I have never once stopped loving you in twenty years and I don't think I ever will, Erin. You are a part of me just like I am a part of you even if you don't realize it. Come back to me, Sweetheart, because I need you in my life one way or another."

He kept Erin's hand in his until he had to let it go once they got to the hospital. He followed the EMT's into the hospital and then stood back and watched as two Doctor's and several Nurse's check Erin over. Not even ten minutes after getting to the hospital a Doctor stepped over to Dave and said "I am Doctor Adams and I will be in charge of the surgery that Agent Strauss will be going under. Her appendix has perforated and we will be rushing her straight there. You can wait in the surgical waiting room and as soon as I am finished operating on her I will come and talk to you."

Dave nodded and asked "Can I give her a quick kiss please?"

Doctor Adams smiled and nodded. "Yes you may but please make it quick."

Dave nodded again and walked over to where Erin laid on the hospital bed looking so damn pale. He bent down and brushed his lips across her forehead, cheeks, and finally her lips. "Get through this and come back to me, Erin. Keep fighting, Sweetheart."

He stepped back and looked at the Doctor. "Make sure she comes through this. Can a Nurse show me where the surgical waiting room is please?"

Doctor Adams nodded again. "Brandy here will show you where it is. I will do everything that I can to make sure Agent Strauss comes through this, Agent Rossi. You just got to keep believing in her."

Dave swallowed but didn't say anything. He watched as Doctor Adams and three Nurses pushed Erin's hospital bed out of the room she was in and into an elevator down the hall. He waited until Erin was out of his site before he turned and followed Brandy to the surgical waiting room. Once she showed him where it was at he sighed and finally said "An Agent Aaron Hotchner will be showing up soon. Will you please send him up here?"

Brandy nodded and patted Dave on the shoulder. "Erin Strauss is a strong woman, Agent Rossi. She will pull through this. I know her very well and I know that she will not give up fighting. She will come back to you but you have to have faith in her. When Agent Hotchner gets here I will bring him up here myself. If you need anything just go to the Nurses desk and tell them. The surgery can take up to a couple of hours depending what Doctor Adams finds."

Dave sighed and sat down heavily in a chair after Brandy left him to go back down to the E.R. He leaned his head back against the wall and finally did something he hadn't done in quite a while and prayed that Erin would get through this.

* * *

A/N 2: Wow this chapter didn't go at all the way I had it wrote in my notebook. Well it did somewhat but then Phoenix ran off with it about half way through it... Click the button and let me know what you think!


End file.
